The question that remains to be answered is, "Are we now not allowed to sit on the same Dastarkhan with our brother's wives?" This is the accusation put against this poor servant that once one of their family members begin keeping a beard, starts to adopt the appearance of the pious, begins saying Allah-Allah and begins lowering their gazes with respect to their brother's wives, their paternal and maternal cousins from both sides, they do not even go and sit anywhere near these relatives because this disease of beauty is such that even if one sits ten feet away from any non-Mehram woman, heat will be transferred even from that distance. The heat of a fire does not remain limited to the fire itself. It will spread a long distance away from the fire itself and heat up the entire area. It is something that travels and spreads far and wide.
Even if the heat itself does not reach one, the smoke will be a source of great discomfort and uneasiness. The men of Allah Ta'ala are those who even save themselves from the discomfort and uneasiness of the smoke of sin. Some people in their simple mindedness and immaturity say, "What is wrong if four brothers sit together on one side of the Dastarkhan while their four wives sit together on the other side of the Dastarkhan? Put it to the test and see what happens. If this action does not cause harm and destruction to the heart, then hold me responsible.
Why has Allah Ta'ala stated:
"These are the limits [set by] Allah , so do not approach them. Thus does Allah make clear His ordinances to the people that they may become righteous."- Surah Al-Baqarah (2:187).
On the other hand, Allah's most Beloved Messenger sallallahu alaihi wasallam has stated:
“O Allah, put a great distance between me and my sins, as great as the distance You have made between the East and the West. O Allah, cleanse me of sin as a white garment is cleansed from filth. O Allah, wash away my sins with snow and water and hail.” (Bukhari)
Why is it that when someone seats you at an inappropriate place, when someone seats you among non-Mahram women, you sit there indulgently and at ease? Why do you not keep your distance? Why did you not have the Taufeeq to flee away from there? Remember, when it comes to Shari'ah, even one's parents have no say. They cannot interfere in the laws of Shari'ah. Tell me, who is greater, one's parents or Allah Ta'ala?
Therefore, children should, with the greatest of respect, not with the slightest bit of disrespect and while honouring their parents with the sweetest words tell them,"O my beloved mother, my beloved father, this is the command of Rabb because of which I am helpless but to obey and follow it. I am more than prepared to even pick up and clean your waste. I am prepared to spend my life and wealth on you but O my beloved mother and father, do not throw me onto the path of disobedience to Allah Ta'ala and thereby send me to destruction. Do not set me into the path of hell."
Determine what the Fatwa is from some Mufti.
If someone says, "The house is too small because of which there is not enough space for sitting separately." In that case, change the times when meals are served. Let the menfolk sit together at one time and let the womenfolk sit together at another time. Otherwise, let the women sit down to eat first and then let the men sit down thereafter. Is it necessary for everyone to sit down to eat together? Is it WAJIB to sit down and eat with jamaat? Is Salah WAJIB or is eating together wajib?
Listen carefully! Listen Attentively! Listen very attentively!
Source copied from:
The Shar'i Emphasis To Adopt Purdah (Hijab) from Non-Mehrams, Who Finds Us and By Whom Are We Attained? , Shaikh-ul-Arab Wal Ajam Arifbillah Hazrat-e-Aqdas Moulana Shah Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Saheb (rahmatullah alaih), Kutub Khana Mazhari, Gulshan-e-Iqbal, pp 20-22.