Translate This Page!

Sunday, 31 August 2014

A Splendid Paragon: Walking on Eggshells

Sundays are the best day to spend time alone with our husband by going out and do something together. Trips to bookstores, friends’ humble home (who also unfailingly reminds us of Allah Ta’ala in everything that they do) and sometimes just quenching our thirst at the nearest lassi or juice joint- which has always been the highlight of our day, Masha’Allah.

My husband loves buying me books and I love reading them in return, regardless of what he bought me. All of the books he ever bought are on Deen and unfailingly it has always opened up my perspectives, as a guide sent by Allah (in a form of books) whenever I asked of Him. Alhamdulillah. Whenever we go to these bookstores, usually I’ll wait in the car as the bookstores are usually filled with ‘maulanas’. He bought me another 3 books (may Allah reward my husband with khair) and one of it simply titled, “A Gift to the Husband and Wife” by Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi. 

A Gift to the Husband and Wife by Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi

This is the translated version from its original Urdu book and hence, the language is to be excused a little (remember Yoda?), but, we shall never disregard the content. I took the liberty to write down the title for each chapter as it was not readily available (also for better future references).

The first chapter was a brief 2-page recollection of hadiths on the rights of both, husband and wife, and the second chapter reads, "The Importance of Staying Separately After Marriage". I'd say, this is interesting enough to read the rest of the 8-pages of this chapter. 

Its very informative and leads to the fact that Islam is just to its believers, in any situation and predicament.

Islam will not be 'the way of life' if its not guiding us towards achieving 'sukun', Insha'Allah.
Table of Contents

A Splendid Paragon : An Incident of Hadhrat Thanwi rahimahullah
Hadhrat Thanwi narrates: "The moment I got married, my father made me live on my own. Living separately has also been a custom in our family. My father provided a house as well as expenses for the house. I felt very ashamed (to take from him). I was concerned about getting a job. With due gratitude unto Allah Ta'ala, that also got sorted out (in Kanpur). A sum of 25rupees was fixed as a monthly income. I was under the impression that it is a very large sum and a wage of 10rupees should suffice. I remained alone for a few days. Then I called the family over (to Kanpur) as well. Experience proved to me that the sum of 25rupees was not after all surplus. The entire sum used to be spent.

From home, she was always requesting me to build a separate house. I continued averting and putting it off by advising her that we are to live in this world for a short while only. Why build a house? When I went for Hajj, she also followed later on. She complained to Haji Saheb Rahmatullahi alaihi (a reference to Haji Imdaadullah Saheb, the Shaikh of Hadhrat Thanwi) that she asked me to build a house and I am refusing to do so. Haji Saheb said to me, " Your wife is asking you to build a separate house for her. Is there any problem with that? This is quite appropriate as one is more comfortable in one's own house." I thought to myself that the wife devised a very convincing plan to build a house. I finally told Haji Saheb: " Very well. The house will be built." On our return (to India), the house was built and I also wrote to Haji Saheb about it. He replied, "May your house be Mubarak (blessed)."

Hadhrat Thanwi rahimahullah alaihi says, "After building a separate house, I realized that without it there was no peace and comfort. However, if somebody is in dire straits and he is unable to build a house, it is another matter altogether." (Malfoozat page 137-140)

Source taken from:
A Gift to the Husband and Wife, Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi, Kutub Khana Mazhari, Gulshan-e-Iqbal, Karachi.

Sunday, 17 August 2014

Husband's and Wife's Duties in Islam

The husband’s duties to his wife are as follows: 

First Duty: To financially support his wife. This is a financial right, and includes: food, drink, clothing, and other basic needs. 

Allah says: “Someone who is well off should spend from his fortune, and whoever is poor should spend from what Allah gives him.” 

Islamic Law does not define this expenditure monetarily, but left it to the customary practices of society. 

The Prophet (peace be upon him) says: “Fear Allah when it comes to women, for they are helpers you took in faithfulness to Allah. You also find it permissible to enjoy their femininity lawfully with Allah’s word. You owe it to them to spend money on them for their food and clothes in kindness.” [Sahîh Muslim

The expenditure should be within the means of the husband. He should not be asked to spend what he cannot afford. 

Second Duty: To provide appropriate housing within the means of the husband. The wife has a right to her own home wherein she can feel comfortable. Allah says, regarding a newly divorced woman: “House them as you house yourselves as is available.” If this is for the divorced woman, then the wife who is under the marriage contract is worthier. 

Third Duty: Assisting them in their quest for salvation by teaching them their religion and reprimanding them for disobeying Allah. 

Allah says: “O believers! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire which is fuelled by men and stones.” 

Fourth Duty: To pay a dower. This is a right which precedes the contract. It is a symbol of honoring the woman and it is not permissible to neglect it until after the contract. 

The wife’s duties to her husband are as follows: 

First Duty: Obedience. A wife should be as obedient as she can to her husband. This preserves the family and protects it from collapsing. This is part of Islam’s organizing of the family structure. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked: ‘Which women are the best?’ he answered: “The one who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he asks something of her, and is not disobedient in herself or her money in what he hates.” [Musnad Ahmad

One should note that a wife’s obedience to her husband falls into one of four categories:
1- To ask her to do something this is commanded by Islam, such as the five prayers. Here the wife must obey her husband, and she would be considered sinful from two perspectives if she fails to obey.

2- To ask her to do something which is beneficial to him, or to refrain from doing something which is harmful to him, such as things which have to do with his food or clothes. She should obey him here unless there is a valid excuse not to.

3- To ask her to do something which falls into her personal affairs, such as asking her to give him money or forbidding her from speaking to a friend for no good reason. Here she can obey him if she wants but she does not have to. She should consider the benefit and harm of such obedience.

4- To order her to disobey Allah’s commands, and here she must disobey her husband.
Second duty: Not to leave the house unless the husband permits it. She should also never sleep outside the house unless she has permission. 

Third duty: To refrain from fasting voluntarily unless she has permission. Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “It is not permissible for a woman to fast while her husband is present unless he permits it, nor is it permissible for her to allow anyone into the house unless he permits it.” 

Fourth duty: Not to let anyone into the house unless he permits it. This is also derived from the above-mentioned hadîth. 

Fifth duty: To guard his property. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The best women who have ridden camels are those of Quraysh. They are the most tender to a young child and guard what their husbands own.” [Sahîh al-Bukharî

Sixth duty: To serve and run the house in a reasonable fashion. This does not mean physical work on the part of the woman if a woman of her standing does not generally engage in physical work. It also does not mean physical work if her health does not permit it.

So, what are other rights of wife towards her husband, if everything has been taken care of for the husband? How would the wife feel useful when the husband don't seem to need her or calling her for anything else?




Sunday, 3 August 2014

The Selfless Mother of 4

During the time of 'Umar radi'Allahu anhu in 16 Hijri, the famous battle of Qadisiyah was fought between the Muslim and the Persians. Khansa' radi'Allahu anha, along with her four sons (Yazeed, Mu’awia, Amro and Amrah), took part in this battle.

On the eve of the battle, she encouraged all her four sons, saying, "O my sons! You embraced Islam and migrated of your own free will. By Allah, besides Whom there is no one worthy of worship, you all are the sons of the same father. I never betrayed your father, nor defamed your maternal uncle. I never allowed a blot to come on your high birth nor polluted your pedigree."

"You know what rewards Allah Ta'ala has promised for those who fight against the non-believers in His path. You must remember that the everlasting life of the Akhirah is far better than the transitory life of this world. Allah Ta'ala has said in the His Book:-

"O you who have believed, persevere and endure and remain stationed and fear Allah that you may be successful."- Surah 'Ali 'Imran

"When you get up tomorrow morning, be prepared to contribute your best in the battle. Go ahead into the enemy lines, seeking help from Allah Ta'ala. When you see the flames of battles rising high, get right into the centre and face the enemy chiefs. If Allah wills it, you will get your abode in Jannah with honour and success."

The next day, when the battle was in full swing, all the four sons advanced towards the enemy lines. One by one, they attacked the enemy, reciting the words of their mother in verse and fought till all of them were martyred.

When the mother got the news, she said,"Alhamdulillah, Glory to Allah Who has honoured me with their martyrdom. I hope that Allah Ta'ala will unite me with them under the shade of His Mercy."

Here is a mother of that time! She exhorts her sons to jump into the flames of battle and, when all the sons are killed in quick succession, she glorifies Allah Ta'ala and thanks Him. May we be like Khansa' and let our children travel in the path of Allah, rather than preferring them to be under their nose, at home, fearing for their safety and what not.
When Khansa returned to Madina, 'Umar radi'Allahu anhu went to her house to condole with her over the death of her sons. Khansa merely said: "Congratulate me, Amirul Mominin, 
For verily I am the mother of martyrs." 

Source taken from:-

Fada'il Amal, Stories of the Sahabah, pp 160.

Al-Shindagah, Accessed on 3rd August 2014.